“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 15:5-6
In this passage, Paul lays out some social skills we all need to know. He prays for love and concord among the Believers for the worship of God, the chief reason to be a church. In addition, he urges that Christians seek maturity. That how we are to treat others. This has an obligation to it, an imperative command, to treat others with time, kindness, love, and patience. This must be our model and pattern in service to others, and the reason for the importance of being humble (1 Pet. 5). As we cannot glorify God in the midst of envy and strife, or in the presence of anger and bitterness.
We cannot be known for our negative attitude, as this will not accomplish anything Kingdom oriented. Our focus must be on the positive.
Let us look how this transfers to having a better attitude in our relationships. Consider this, for someone to buy something from you, whatever that may be, they have to first trust you. To build a positive relationship with a family member, or a friend, or a coworker, the same is implied. Trust needs to be built. And consider how one should do that?
Below is what I learned years ago at a Dale Carnegie course I took.
Do not criticize, condemn, or complain! Have character and self-control and be forgiving. Kindness is all important!
Be generous with praise and recognition. Left people up and edify. Think what to say to build a foundation of being grateful for people in your life.
Remember people’s names. Peoples tone and outlook as well as response will change when you use their name.
Be genuine interested in other people. Listen to their story, build the connection by listening more than talking.
Know the value of charm. Social skills will keep you in relationships, jobs and just about any situation. People want to work with people they like more than talent and abilities.
Be quick to acknowledge your own mistakes. This builds trust and makes you more likable. We all make mistakes and need improvement.
Do not attempt to win arguments; rather, build the relationship. Because you do not win, you just alienate, especially in close relationships like marriage and in the workplace. Avoid unnecessary confrontations. Look for common grounds.
Have others believe your conclusions are their own. Do not seek credit; rather, seek the common good.
Make people feel important. Smile, do the above and put in the effort so people feel important around you. People will not listen to you, until you are interested in them.
And, do not forget to watch your tone, smile, have confidence, stand, and sit up straight. And here is one from my grandmother decades ago: “Do not 2-get or 2-give as these only create problems in our lives. Rather, double it! 4-get and 4-give They you will solve most of your problems!”
Dr. Richard Krejcir is a licensed and experienced Financial Consultant with over thirty years of experience. He has worked for major banks, insurance companies, nonprofits, and families too. He is also an author, pastor, Special Ed Teacher, and financial blogger and holds a doctorate in Stewardship.